The Company We Keep

“We shall be known by the company we keep
By the ones who circle round to tend these fires.
We shall be known by the ones who sow and reap
The seeds of change alive from deep within the earth.”
–MaMuse

At a small Christmas concert I attended in December, the lead soprano faltered for a moment during her solo. After a few suspended beats, the rest of the sopranos swooped in to sing her part until she could steady herself and continue. It was barely noticeable.

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During my church’s Christmas Eve service, we lit candles, passing tiny flames one to the other until the sanctuary was filled. I’ve always appreciated this ritual for how it spreads so much light from one small flame, but a friend said they saw it more as a reminder that if your flame goes out, there are many others there to keep lighting your way.

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In his poem, “Love Poems to Our Friends,” Joseph Fasano asks, “Where are the poems for those who know us?/Not for star-crossed loves,/for agonies of longing,/but ones who go with us/the whole road./…the ones who stand/by our shoulder at the funeral/and lead us back to the land of the living/and put our favorite record on the player/and go away, and come back,/always come back,/with bread and wine/and one word, one word: stay.” 

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When I was in a bad way this spring and hospitalized for a several days, two friends came to visit me. One was wearing a riotous, happy blouse with a flower print and they both brought such alive, vibrant energy to a confined, bleak environment. When I told her how much I loved her shirt, she said, “It’s my way of bringing you flowers since I couldn’t bring the real thing.”

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A beautiful friend gave me a set of antique silverware when I moved into my apartment in April. It’s so intricate and detailed with tiny flowers and minute scrolls, and the pieces feel so good to hold. It means that each time I do the tedious task of washing dishes, I’m reminded that I am loved.

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I’ve been working for a while now on a writing project that explores the Catholic “Acts of Mercy” in what I hope is a new way. In Catholicism, the Acts of Mercy are charitable acts for helping people in need. I’ve been semi obsessed with them for about fifteen years. There are seven corporal acts of mercy and they are things like, “feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and sheltering the homeless.” And then there are the seven spiritual acts of mercy which are things like, “counseling the doubtful, instructing the ignorant, and bearing wrongs patiently.” Acts or works of mercy are all about doing good, being good.

My reimagining of the acts of mercy is that opportunities to extend mercy are actually reciprocal experiences; that it is not enough to value ourselves by what we “give” to or “do” for others. Doing good is not an us/them dynamic; it is not about better/worse, healthy/sick, whole/broken. That receiving, although it feels uncomfortable sometimes, honors the giver, and opens us to our shared humanity, our shared brokenness. And our shared longings for wholeness.

In the end, we are all trying to get back into the garden. To get back to paradise. To return to the experience of union with whatever Divine Source makes us feel sheltered, loved, held. There are acts of mercy every day. We are all always giving and always receiving.

Welcome to, “The Mercy Journals.” A project fifteen years in the making.

Love Poems to Our Friends
by Jospeh Fasano

Where are the poems for those who know us?

Not for star-crossed loves,
for agonies of longing,
but words for those who go with us
the whole road.

How would they start, I wonder
You let me crash
when I was new to ruin.
You came to me   
though visiting hours were over.
You held me when my loves
were done, were flames.

Yes, we will lose a few
in the changes.
But these are the ones
who save us:
not the charmers,
not the comets of wild passion,
not the ups-and-downs of love’s unlucky hungers,

but the ones who stand
by our shoulder at the funeral
and lead us back to the land of the living
and put our favorite record on the player
and go away, and come back,
always come back,

with bread and wine
and one word, one word: stay. 

To learn more about Joseph Fasano, click here.

To hear the delightful band MaMuse sing, “We Shall Be Known,” click here.